Ray Tomlinson sent the first email using CPYNET and interpersonal communication changed forever—but not immediately. Remember the late 1980’s; those engineering and math students have email, but not you—that’s for geeks.

Now, email is a part of daily life for you, me, Timmy and Grandma. Excited by the sight of the mail deliverer coming up the front steps? Now, you can have the same thrill multiple times a day, checking email whenever and wherever from your computer, cell phone, PDA, or even eyeglasses (Type “eyeglasses monitor” into Google).

Will the fun ever end? You’ve probably received emails about a fee or tax on each email sent—never mind that such proposals have never been given much consideration and warnings of an impending tax are a hoax (check out: www.snopes.com/business/taxes/bill602p.asp). Don’t worry about future legislation either, it just won’t happen.

Email is popular for notes to friends and loved ones, questions between colleagues, a quick thank you, online asynchronous meetings, romantic letters, gossiping, and so on…the list could go on and on. But, there are fundamental problems with the nature of email that leads the unwary user to create online clutter and real life headaches.

Forget SPAM for at least for the next few minutes. The use of server space to store and personal time to eliminate SPAM wastes time, but everyone knows of the evil realm of SPAM. If that were the only problem with email we would live in a fairy tale.

The more complex—and solvable—issues concern how people use email to communicate with people they know. Most email etiquette lessons begin with the plea to not shout by typing IN ALL CAPS. Unless, however, you do want to shout, which some of these other email no-nos may cause you to do.

So, let me present three suggestions to make your email experience a little brighter.

Always Include a Subject

First, include a subject in your email. Many people do not do this, and receiving a subject-less email from someone you don’t recognize usually leads to a quick delete. And receiving a subject-less message from someone you do know is just a tease. You know me so you’ll open this, but I’m not going to tell you what I’m going to tell you.

Yes, it takes an extra three seconds to include a subject in your email message, but it forces the recipient to open the email whether or not they have the time. Admit it: you see an informative subject heading from a friend, and think to yourself “Thanks for the email. I’ll read it tonight, when I’m home relaxing.” A lack of subject means lack of choice. You have to open it to know what’s going on. Is it urgent? Is it nothing? You’re living the story of the boy who cried wolf. You open the email quickly only to discover that it’s just a joke sent out to fifty people.

Quit Using “Reply All”

The Reply All feature works effectively for an ongoing discussion if everyone offers a meaningful addition to the dialogue. Everyone reads what everyone else writes and time is saved by simultaneously sending the same message to multiple readers.

The more typical use for Rely All is unnecessary – the individual short response. A typical example is the notification of a meeting and request for an RSVP. Only the original sender needs the RSVP, but all the recipients use Reply All in when RSVPing and each mailbox fills with “I’ll be there”, “Thanks”, and “Yes.” Do you want to know what’s it’s like to look out upon an empty, meaningless void? Open an email in which the entire message is: “Yes.” (Well, it’s also optimistic in a general, out-of-context sense). This barrage of email creates a sense of camaraderie for those who like short three word sentences and a slew of unnecessary information for everyone else.

No Extensive Conversations

Third, don’t have day-long meetings entirely via email. Personal mental filters that switch on in face-to-face communication fail miserably in email. Communicating via email with large groups of people (thank you Reply All button) may be a time saver; it eliminates the need to engage in real world meetings. But, real world meetings usually have a defined time constraint and instant feedback through body language and facial expressions. This limits what is said, and that’s a good thing. In email, everyone can say everything and in order to follow the flow of the ongoing conversation, everyone will read it. Much of this writing may be better left unsaid.

Unfiltered opinions have a way of magnifying themselves in electronic form. In the non-virtual world, people usually try to refrain from offending and think twice before speaking inappropriately. The conversation flows; a group discovers a reasonable solution or compromise.

Yes, some people remain argumentative at face-to-face meetings. Those people typically become outcasts. For them, the email does solve the problem. But most conversations and decisions can be resolved by allowing successive ideas to build on each other. Each person mentally revises their comments based on the group’s progress. Self-censor wrong-headed ideas, curtail harsh words, and conclude the meeting. But with email, all ideas flow freely, which is great if you’re brainstorming. Eventually the discussion needs direction, and all opinions should not always be given equal weight. It takes much longer to reach a conclusion.

Also, offense is easily given and taken when communicating through technology. Online communication limits conveyance of meaning in that vocal intonations, volume, and facial expression are lacking. Emoticons supposedly alleviate this problem. A : ) may be seen as an all purpose panacea. I didn’t mean it. Don’t take me seriously. But they don’t work if you think your inappropriate statement is appropriate and they don’t work for entire emails. In such cases, don’t hit the send button at all.

Ultimately, any debate to find consensus is not made easier with email. The electronic conversation will be all problems and viewpoints and no solutions or resolutions. A face-to-face meeting becomes necessary to resolve the problems arising from the emails. If you need a meeting, have a meeting. Don’t have a pre-meeting using email as the medium.

Video conferencing is an entirely different issue and by definition maintains the face-to-face advantages of real life meetings. Other computer-mediated communication – like instant messaging and chat rooms – may even become more popular than email. It certainly seems to be the mode of preference among high school and college students (Nothing is as potentially distracting as teaching a class in a computer lab when the IM windows just keep coming and coming). This may solve some of aforementioned problems, as the instinct to self-censor might return. Or the temptation to speak or write over each other will be the norm and chat rooms will remain a jumble of opinions.

Currently, email remains a magnificent medium for one-to-one comments, one-way group announcements, and the occasional sweet note to a loved one. However, don’t let email be the tool for every occasion. When the debate starts flying, the Reply All’s are sent, and no one is saying “Yes,” decide as a group to stop, meet for coffee, and turn a : ) into a real smile.

Jeremy Sarachan owns Hammersaw Media, a web design company. He also teaches in the department of Communication/Journalism at St. John Fisher College.